The hardest thing I did yesterday was to get out of bed. I could feel my shock in the election result in my body. It weighed me down, I couldn’t move fast. When I got out to the garden was surprised that the world seemed the same – the tree’s were in the same places and the sky hadn’t cracked open. I moved very slowly yesterday, glad for the little things – washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry and sweeping the porch, little things brought me back to life.
While on waking I had the fragment of a dream ‘we are born for these times’ rang in my head to which I loudly replied no, I’m small, I’m tired and I’m overwhelmed. By lunchtime, I really was tired and ready to back to bed.
I slowly stirred from my shock gratingly annoyed at messages of we must meet everything with love and reassurances that somehow this is part of the big plan that things will get worse before they get better.
Today was easier to get out of bed, I don’t feel so numb and my shock is lifting into a well-placed anger. As I made coffee I noticed lots of threads of spider silk coming off the big dead tree in the garden on onto the mountain laurel bush (who is flowering), other strands are roped out onto the fence post, onto the grass and I enjoyed the notion that we are all connected. It’s the great wheel of life that our foremothers honored, the great web of time, space and everything in-between.
The election news was like an alarm bell going off as if warning us of another Kurgen attack. Those initial attacks started 6,000 years ago, we live in a Kurgen society and now have a Kurgen as president! Today my shock has turned to a well-tuned anger and I have to admit I’m a little prickled to those saying we must turn to it all with love or that it has to get worse before it gets better – erm, 6,000 years of patriarchy is pretty freaking bad! The centuries and centuries of genocides on women, the witch burnings – exactly how much more can we take?
I’m not going to tell you words above loving stronger, or that there is a light at the end of the tunnel as right now I can’t see it. What I do know is that it is the dark of the year. I come from a circle culture and our temples that were burnt to the ground, all the women burnt as witches, all the women who have gone through the unspeakable we all come together in HER temples when we sit in circle. And behind our circle is another circle – one made up of the grandmothers, the old ones, our foremothers. We have the web, we have the tools of shamanic journeying, of dancing between the worlds and asking those ancient ones for their wisdom. We have circle, we have the wheel. And right now we have darkness – darkness where all our energies are rooted in the dark place, a dark place that birthed the universe, it’s birthing our creativity, it births our reality if we let it and not come from a pace of yesterdays emotions.
Our culture has endured thousands of years of persecution, thousands of years of misogyny, oppression, massacre, abuse, injustice, torture, murder, rape……
And while we may feel small alone we are of a circle culture, and when we come together her temples are rebuilt, we travel between worlds and return with visions and guidance, we inspire each other with our stories and root it into our lives through creativity and then weave it into our lives in the fight that seems ever-present.
Those thousands of years have turned us into amazons, warriors and we each fight this battle in our own way. I resonate to keep doing what I do and come together in circle around the wheel and nourish our roots with our great culture of femaleness, of togetherness, of ancestor, of healing and in fighting!
While I had to write these words (even for myself) I had to question adding on events I’m offering, but that’s what I do in the world – we each healing and together we raise our amazon swords!
And in May 2017 we will gather in circle on the lands of the Ancestral Mothers of Scotland. We will do deep shamanic work with ritual and ceremony, visit her sites work with our fears and anger, our inspiration and commit to the work we do in this worlds.